I know this article title sounds like clickbait, but it’s not. If you feel overwhelmed, stuck, or like you can’t follow through with anything, giving up on 90% of your goals is a no-brainer.
Since this sounds ridiculous and discouraging, allow me to explain:
A few months ago, I felt like a failure every day. I couldn’t always put my finger on why, but when my head hit the pillow, I couldn’t relax. I knew I was dropping the ball on something, and never felt good about how the day went.
Eventually, this became overwhelming, and I decided to brain dump everything on my mind into my notebook. The result was pretty eye-opening.
Here’s a non-comprehensive list of everything I was supposedly “prioritizing” at the time:
- Writing more articles
- Working out more consistently
- Not checking my phone in the morning
- Improving my coaching systems
- Becoming a better interviewer
- Learning Portuguese
- Watching less TV
- Getting outside every day
- Doing more Instagram stories
- Journaling and breathwork
- Continuing education
- Strengthening my personal relationships
- Growing my audience
- Learning to write code
The actual list of my supposed “priorities” was even longer than this, but I’ll spare you the other 35 bullets.
I’ll tell you this much: getting outside without my phone will always be a priority of mine
I sat with this novel for a few days, and decided to journal again:
What were the highest yield focuses? In other words, if I only achieved a few of these goals, which would make me the happiest?
Warren Buffet is credited with developing a similar framework for prioritization. It’s called the 25/5 Rule, and it’s pretty simple:
- Write down 25 things you want to accomplish
- Decide which five are most important to you
- Cross off the other 20 things and don’t look back
He didn’t actually develop this, but it doesn’t make the principle any less valuable:
If you want to be focused, driven, and successful, you need to give up on as many of your goals as possible. Otherwise you risk not moving the needle on any of them, and losing steam altogether.
But I recognize how difficult this is.
Guilt might be holding you back.
Especially if you feel like giving up on a goal is “failing.”
But Dr. Karin Nordin, a behavior and mindset researcher and recent podcast guest, said this isn’t the case. As she often reminds her clients, a decision to give up on a goal isn’t a permanent one. You can always revisit it later, if and when you’re in a season of life to.
There’s also the Sunk Cost Effect.
The Sunk Cost Effect is the tendency to grow attached to a plan, project, or goal we’ve invested resources (like time, money, and energy) into — even if it’s not going well.
But we often forget how much we’ve gained from the pursuit alone (experience, knowledge, etc.). Not to mention, there’s a MUCH bigger cost of not letting go: constant stress and a daily weight on our shoulders.
Finally, there are the stories we tell ourselves.
For example, people love to convince themselves they’re readers. But they often like the idea of being a “reader” more than they actually like reading. Ask them for the last three books they’ve read, and you’ll see what I mean.
This is a fairly common story people tell themselves, but there are countless others.
Over time, these stories (about our supposed “priorities”) become part of our identities, which makes them hard to let go of. But by not being honest about our actions, and what they’re telling us about our actual priorities, we risk feeling bad about ourselves and our lack of follow-through.
After more reflection, it became abundantly clear which items on my list were most important to me:
- Strengthening my personal relationships
- Writing more
- Improving my coaching systems
- Moving my body every day
- Getting outside
That’s it.
If I put a dent in anything else, great. But my newfound tunnel-vision has already produced much better results than kind-of, sort-of chipping away at three dozen goals.
Makes sense. Now what?
Take the next 5-10 minutes to do your own brain dump. Write down every single thing you’re supposedly “working on” or “trying to get better at” right now.
Then, ask yourself, “If I only accomplished 3-5 of these goals, which ones would make the most proud?”
When you’re done with this exercise, comment your answer below. I’d love to know what you’re most excited about, and which goals you’re going to accomplish next.
It should go without saying: I’m NOT encouraging you to give up on a goal because it’s hard to achieve. But I AM encouraging you to get crystal clear on which goals deserve your time and attention right now — and to revisit the rest at a later time. The alternative is continuing to spin your wheels.
